We live in an era of branding - Fashion, food, vehicles and people. It is not something that will be helped, we have moved past opposition of it into acceptance the pearls and pitfalls of which I am not going to zoom in on today.
There is a branding of people however that is not new. It is not old either. And it bothers me somewhat. I remember being at an address by a motivational speaker once, renowned in South Africa for her struggle and survival of a heinous crime that she survived, wrote about and used to empower women. She was introduced as a rape victim. It is such a taken-for-granted term that I thought nothing of it at the time. Of course that is what she is, a rape victim. Those two words tell her entire story and evoke immediate empathy in every listener attending. I now realize what a condescension it is, to brand someone in that manner. Is it at all fair, just and empathic to take someone and strip them of their identity, remove all essence of who they were before such an awful event and restructure their future by such a branding that for ever more they will be known only by the acts of a criminal. Almost as though their life is not their own, completely restructured and reshaped on a single life episode. We cannot allow the satisfaction of an aggressor, knowing they had such power not only in the moment but over another person’s entire life. And there are those who are aware of this, who change it and call them rape survivors. But that too, implies a lifelong struggle against an offender and a life shaped and reformed around only that, the act of rape.
There are other victims too. Sufferers of disease, ill-health, sufferers…and cancer victims, and cancer survivors. Yet again, a branding based on a disease, a branding which implies their was no survival, there is no celebration save for cancer which is the victorious conqueror, constantly needing to be survived against. What of the personality, career, the life of the person? All are discarded and a new, easy branding in its place with cancer forever at the forefront. And what of the silent sufferers? The “victims” of other illness and misfortune that do not have that universal branding – nothing of them, by the very notion of namelessness, brandlessness, they remain invisible. So should we be striving to brand everyone? Or realize the error of it all – identities are stripped by placing people into specific boxes, and some sufferers neglected for not fitting into a box. Humility is recognizing that everyone has a story that is as sad, painful, emotional and joyful as your own. The heroes amongst us are not the branded victims, nor are they the unbranded ones, they are the ones who stride boldly into adversity coming out on the other side into a new world, bringing their past with them, and from the claws of wretchedness and anguish taking their life back.
So what of it? Why have these brandings lasted so long, not only in the most trying times of our lives but daily events as well? We crave the attention, because as incorrect as it may be, society caves in, walls break down and wells weep for obvious agony. It is somewhat to be admired, the craftsmanship of a damsel in distress – a skill unmastered by very few Indian women. It is not a skill that will be lost or altered for society has little changed in centuries. The history of civilization is an interesting perusal then as to how this skill developed, women were always seen to be the meeker, and sometimes lesser species, the emotional ones, and thus they developed tactics to play on that perception for attention? Survival? Expectation? I can’t help but wonder if within all the concentration of playing this game, something of oneself is not lost? A neglecting of true self, of realistic perception, of absolute potential.
An impossible proposal I am aware – to try and stop all the games being played, to be conscious of the brandings we make and alter perceptions. Darkness is merely the absence of light, but even in the presence of light, we are blinded or programmed to one-dimensionalism and cannot see the slanting rays of sidelight, backlight and the changing colours of lights prism through the passing hours of the day.
The strongest women I know fight their adversities rather than succumb to an age-old tradition of victimization. Yes, there is pain and silent suffering beneath their bravery but there is also hope, appraisal and respect of the highest degree, as I watch them take their lives back.
